How do you react when conversations suddenly move from smooth and easygoing to tense or awkward? Do you retreat into silence? Do you go on the attack? Or do you do your best to keep the conversation calm and focused on the issues at hand?

Crucial conversations take place when the stakes are high, opinions differ, and emotions run strong. Handling crucial conversations well can dramatically improve your personal relationships, your career progress, and your work team’s performance.

Take this 33-question test to explore how you typically respond when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation. Have your friends, colleagues, or family members take the test as well. The answers may surprise you.

A self-scoring version of this test is available online at www.vitalsmarts.com/ styleunderstress. Information on what your score means can be found on pages 68-69 of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.

Instructions

Before you start, read through the following points:

• RELATIONSHIP

Think about the relationship you want to improve—

with your boss, coworker, direct report, friend, or family member— and keep this relationship in mind.

• CIRCUMSTANCE

Next, think of a tough situation—one you might have handled poorly or avoided altogether.

• APPLY

Now, with that situation in mind, respond to the statements on the following pages as either true or false.